Logic's Insight: Twilight Part 4

Reason #4 for hating Twilight: Everything else!

So if you've been paying attention up to this point, then you'll see that Twilight lacks everything that a love story needs to work.  It doesn't have characters that we care about, it doesn't have a relationship dynamic that fits with the story or the choices of the characters, and it's story is dull and stretched out longer than it needs to without anything ever affecting the characters or testing their bonds.  The lore of the saga can't even stay consistent with itself and doesn't leave any room for real dramatic tension.

Despite this, the saga is selling extremely well.  The saga is a gold mine!  The books sell extremely well since the first book's debut and have garnered a moderate amount of critical praise because of it's influence; the movies have grossed a grand total of two and a half billion dollars on a total budget of two hundred and fifty million dollars; and it has a large and powerfully devoted fanbase.  So some of you might be thinking, with all of this success, surely there must be some merit to Twilight's fame?  Maybe there's something good that you're just missing?

No.

I mean...in a way, there is something about Twilight that draws people...To quote Stephen King, "People are attracted by the stories, by the pace and in the case of Stephenie Meyer, it's very clear that she's writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. It's exciting and it's thrilling and it's not particularly threatening because it's not overtly sexual."  Now remember that King also said that Stephenie Meyer couldn't write for shit, and coming from someone like Stephen King, I think you can see why she has done so well in such a short amount of time.

See, the Twilight books really became popular shortly after the Harry Potter book series concluded in Deathly Hallows, a lot of people were left with a hole in what to do.  So, a lot of them, especially the teenage girls, picked up Twilight and it filled in the gap left by Harry Potter's conclusion.  I don't say that this crowd is mainly teenage girls because I'm sexist, I'm just putting out the facts.  Most fans of this series are women, and the highest age demographic of these fans will be in their teenage years.

So when you have a largely teenage crowd, it's pretty easy to keep them hooked in.  Most boys in that age group like to read about action, strength, adventure, badasses who keep going against all odds, men who always get the girl in the end, and people who are in control.  Why?  Because they're still building their identity at this age and these fictional stories give them a guideline.  When it comes to fictional women, they tend to gravitate towards strong-willed, well-endowed, and self-sufficient women who don't need someone to help them.  That's why Samus is so famous to Nintendo fans, because you don't have to slave through the game to save her!

For girl's it's kind of easier, they may not even be looking for a role model.  What they are generally looking for is eye candy, even if that's not all they're looking for, my sister admits that hotness and cuteness tend to hold a girl's attention for longer.  That's why Draco Malfoy is so popular, not because of his complex character or the dilemnas that he has to go through, but because he's handsome and dark.  Chicks tend to gravitate towards that, I guess it's a nurturing impulse or a need to fix something that's troubled...

When making eye candy for the average teenage girl, you first need to adopt a certain trait that this person's going for.  The best way to do that is to look at real life.  What do most teenage girls gun for?  I can tell you that it won't be the nice chivalrous guy or the selfless hard worker, they're more likely to be put in the friend box....sadly...Because they want excitement!  They want something different and new!  Something that won't shackle them down or tell them what to do!

So here's four types of guys that they're most likely to go for:  1) The rich kid; 2) the talented star; 3) the guy with toned muscle; and 4) the boastful and arrogant talker.

Now I'm just going to make this clear, the traits that I just described aren't bad in themselves.  They all have very positive implications behind them.  Someone whose rich, doesn't have to worry about money and can therefore, take care of himself and any girlfriend that they might have.  Not to mention when it comes time for marriage and a family.  The athletic star is an accomplishment champion, someone who has natural talent that they developed to a level of superiority.  It shows that they're committed to an achievement and are motivated to better themselves.  The guy with the toned muscle exercises and takes care of themselves and their health.  It can also mean that they're strong and can protect you when it comes to a fight.  Finally, a boastful and arrogant talker is a seemingly confident individual.  They don't care what other people think about what they do or say, they just want to get the job done.  They're also more assertive and can stand up for themselves.

That being said, what does become a problem is basing a fantasy solely on those four traits without regard for personality, motivations or actions.  Just because you have money, it doesn't mean that you can spend it well if you don't know how to moderate.  Talent is good, but hard work is just as important and being a star doesn't mean you're the best, it just means you're the most popular.  Having a great body is worthless if you don't do anything with it.  Being able to talk and boast may be a sign of confidence, but it can also be a sign of overcompensation.  Just because you don't boast, it doesn't mean you're not confident, maybe you can pick and choose your battles.

Twilight however has all four of these aspects in one package.  That's why Edward and Jacob are so appealing to it's fans.  They're hot; they're from rich families and have some mula themselves, Edward even has his own resort in Rio; they're talented and well respected and feared in their clans; they have hardened and sculpted bodies; and they can get anything that they want for Bella because they're so much stronger and more powerful than humans.  What girl wouldn't fall in love with either one?

One with a brain...

But when you read some stories, sometimes you shut off your brain to enjoy the story.  It's called a suspension of disbelief and it allows even over-thinking guys like me to enjoy sometimes simple stories.  Sometimes this becomes a problem, you're so engrossed in something that you may not realize that it's crap once you're involved on a certain level.  That's the problem with Twilight's main audience, they're looking for superficial qualities and getting them in the bucket loads.  It's a fantasy where an average teenage girl hooks up with a hot vampire who sparkles like diamonds and is the ultimate boyfriend/husband!  What girl wouldn't want to read that?

One with a brain...

In the end, you can't really even blame them.  The truth is, Stephanie Meyer is a master of her craft of marketing and manipulating the minds of teenage girls into buying her books, merchandise, movie tickets, movie bundles and so on.  She must have known perfectly well about the audience that she was writing to and made sure to tailor-make her books to keep them involved.  It's something that a lot of author's do once they discover they're niche.  JK Rowling's success came largely from making her books for children and then following that audience as they got older and maturing her story to better appeal to them.  Stephen King knows that his audience are from the mystery, suspense and adventure crowd and that's how he built his following.  Even JRR Tolkien was mainly directed at the lore-studiers, fantasy, adventure, drama, potential linguists, and medieval crowd.

So what's the problem Thaeonblade?  Why is Twilight's success such a bother to you?

It's influence and themes.

The Twilight Saga encourages all of the wrong things in a love relationship and celebrates them with a happy ending with a bow on top.  As much as I don't want to say that teenage girls are idiots, this story is going to leave an impact on them, especially the ones that never catch on to the crap that they're reading.  Especially with a culture that also subconciously celebrates what Twilight encourages, I'm just kind of scared for future generations.  Books don't just go away, they take up space on a bookshelf and one day, those girls are going to be reading this crap to their poor kids.

It tells girls that being self-sufficient, hard working, goal oriented women isn't important; it tells them that all that is important is finding that one perfect man in your life.  It's just an unrealistic goal that's going to stick to their minds subconciously.  Tells them that its okay when boyfriends sneak into your room and watch you sleep without you knowing; that it's okay to disrespect parents and go out with the bad boy who leaves you months at a time; that it's okay to manipulate the emotions of men to get what you want; that it's okay to get married as soon as your eighteen and not have your own life...There's a reason why my mom's generation is worried about mine...

Influence can make or break a person, either set them up for success or failure.  It can be a breeze that tells you to keep going, or a breath of heat that staggers you and causes you to fall.  Especially with the metaphor of Bella as an average teenage girl who always gets saved and relies on the super strong boyfriend to save her...it has really bad implications that those poor teens are going to have.  See by having an average character who never contributes, your sending a message that the average audience will never excel on their own.  The only way to achieve happiness is to find a man that sparkles and likes you because you're pretty.

As though to say that you have to join a group to be successful.  I don't think Bella ever becomes self-dependent until after she becomes a vampire.  Because part of the popular niche and it's depressing to see how many girls actually follow this.  Just look up how well this series is still doing despite much smarter people than me saying that it's complete shit.  To be fair, I can see someone reading/watching this crap and laughing at how terrible it is.  But even then, there's a point where even they'd have to say that this series is sick.

Fortunately, there's only one more movie left that we'll have to suffer through....

Wait...there's...one more movie...one more movie?!

Why did they split the final book into two movies?  Why are they ripping off Harry Potter?

And it's at the end of the year...that means people are going to be talking about this shit...for another year...

How did we get to this point?  I mean...it's not hard too make a meaningful love story.  Give us two characters, make them fall in love, and let us follow them through a story where we grow to CARE ABOUT THEM!  Then if you want to make a sequel...read the last book and CONTINUE WITH SOMETHING JUST LIKE IT!  Keep the choices that your character has made in mind...AND HAVE THEM FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!

I was never a fan of Twilight and I'm glad that I never was!  I had good decent stuff when I was growing up that didn't keep me from being the man I am now!

Like Gundam!  Which is about smart, intelligent and persevering teenagers who piloted giant robots and...killed thousands of soldiers and...blew up space colonies...in the middle of a war...

Or how about Pokemon!  You get to head out into the world to make your own destiny at the age of...ten years old...and then had to become the very best out of all trainers!  By finding pokemon and....beating them up, taking them out of their natural environment....forcing them into tiny balls and training them to...fight...other pokemon...for some plastic badges...

Or Harry Potter!  Who always had to watch over his shoulder because....something bad always happened to him...every year that he was at school...and he had to go home to an abusive aunt and uncle...

Or Dragonball Z!  Where the heroes tore apart planets by fighting each other...and didn't care about death because they had a magic dragon that could revive them....

Or Star Wars.....and that's a whole other couple of essays right there...

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Here's a question, how do you think I survived my childhood sane?

Peace.