MMMR: The Honest Trailer

Comes a Mega Crossover that will take your childhood anime/cartoon icons and have it's way with them whether you like it or not. But ultimately, you'll accept your powerlessness and like it.

MIGHTY MORPHIN MECHA RANGERS!

Welcome to Angel Grove, which for some reason has an extra o in Grove so that it's Groove. Anyway...Angel Groove! A multi-district city owned and ran by anime's most egotistical billionaire, Seto Kaiba. Despite having spent countless hundreds of billions to purchase the land, build this utopian technological wonder on earth, fund his own personal army led by most of the protagonists of Gundam's Universal Century, and still running a company, Kaiba never sees any drop in his income.

Seriously...even with all of the damage that the monsters cause...

Did I mention monsters? Oh yes! A pretentiously mysterious secret deep within the city has attracted the attention of several giant monsters who attack the city after being hit with a lance thrown by an albino bishonen bi-sexual who lives on the moon.

Guess that makes him Rita?

Prompting Kaiba's coattails to blackmai-...I mean! Assemble five of Anime's most famous mecha pilots!

Roger Smith, a negotiator who makes a career on making people get along and talk to each other. But still has a giant robot that can punch out meteors and demolish one building every time that it's summoned...and has enough money to apparently own his own skyscrapper, a personal rail system to transport Big-O, Has a stable retrofit schedule for Big-O, a hanger large enough to fit a small squad, and can still afford his million-dollar suit.

He also has a hot robot wife...and a cute daughter...wait...can robots have kids? How did Roger and Dorothy...then again, she probably had enough human parts for the act to count...convenient or desperate...I'm not really sure...

Simon the Digger, whose somewhere between coming out on his own and being wimpy and dependent on his big brother Kamina.  Which means that he'll have a lot of mood swings from confident and awesome...to wishy-washy and depressed...

Fits the tone of his series to be honest.

Bit Cloud, a sports pilot without much of a character within his own series.  Giving the author the perfect excuse to make up his own background for Bit, a background that will only be hinted through annoyingly subtle hints like referring to plants...that his real last name is Strife...or that his coat is filled with tiny derenger pistols...

I feel like I should know who his parents are...but I need another hint...

"LOVE AND PEACE!"

OH! Now I get it!

Van of Fanelia, whose no one's favorite mecha pilot.  Whose honestly just there to fill in space...I mean...the author only watched the movie and the abridged series! Doesn't the author know that the real main character of Escaflowne was Hitomi and not Van?

To be fair...Escaflowne was a Shojo anime disguised as a Shounen anime...surprised about the confusion?

Finally we have the Charlie Brown of Anime, Shinji Ikari.

Who goes from being the butt monkey of the team to being one of the most highly respected characters in the city within the span of twelve chapters. He also gets a mid-season upgrade after being horribly mauled by a World of Warcraft flash-boss, gets to kiss a girl who doesn't have serious issues (maybe) and becomes Simon's honorary Aniki in the Dai-Gurren Brigade...

Technically this should make him a Creator's Pet...but considering what he went through in Evangelion and especially 3.00...he deserves to be lifted up a bit.

Together...they must face impossible foes like a singing diamond...A multi-leaf clover...Clash with the Kraken...a mechanical grasshopper...and a Power Rangers monster that managed to curbstomp Dragonzord and Megazord onto the city streets...three times...

Did I mention that...THE AUTHOR HYPERCHARGED THEM!

In fact...the author hypercharged the enemies so much...that he was forced to give the Rangers back up in the form of beefing up the Red Shirt Army and providing multiple candidates of a Sixth Ranger including:

Heero Yuy, a Gundam Ace that everyone seems to be afraid of.  Even though he's officially retired from gundam-piloting despite using a weakened version of a gundam capable of blowing up a colony on minimum power.

He was also a Child Soldier for some Russian terrorist and killed lots of people...even though he only feels personally guilty for the death of one little girl and her dog...heart of a hero folks..

Naota, the protagonist of a short six episode series that had it's way with the audience and left them begging for more! Naota is pretty much a freelance guitarist runaway nerd who can pull random things out of his head and kill people with them.  He comes to Angel Groove where he lives with his cleaning robot that can become a miniature death machine by eating him and his flirty girlfriend Eri, whose dialogue tends to involve teasing or arguing with Naota...

It's heavily implied that they're having sex, so win-win I guess...

Coop, everyone's favorite mecha destroyer...whose sadly under-utilized except for when the author wants to overload the awesome meter or a DMV needs to be destroyed.

Kaiba himself, who takes to the skies to defend his city within a...Blue Eyes...White...Dragon Jet..."Breaks down laughing"

I'm sorry! It's just so stupid! What is up with this guy's dragon fetish? No wonder he's single while his little brother is getting all of the action.

And ED-209...who between now and the RoboCop movies learned how to walk down stairs; Leap long distances; upgrade his armor and his weaponry; Improve his AI and targeting systems; and graduated from the University of Kickass with a Bachelors in Asskicking no jutsu.

Seriously...he's wasted about five decepticons at this point...what did the Kaibas do to him? Why not send him against the monsters instead of blackmailling- I mean! Recruiting the rangers? It's cheaper and less destructive.

But giant monsters aren't their own problem. Little do the rangers know that nefarious powers plot in the background to destroy them. Terrible plots that have thus far included unforgivable acts like: Exiling your son from a shitty home and leaving him in a city where he gets everything that's always been withheld from him; Stealing a city's AC; Killing off most of Seele; Making a throne of puppy or seal skins; Slaughtering thousands of people whom we have no emotional connection to; Killing their own men for giving them bad news; Senselessly abusing their daughters until they join the good guys just to spite them; Mindraping robots to keep them from killing innocent people; Traveling; Talking; Sitting in meetings and debating; Standing in meetings and debating; and aking ambiguous statements about things that are about to happen..

But they haven't happened yet.

Eh! When are the so-called "bad guys" going to actually attack the rangers! I wanna see Shinji kick the shit out of Asuka! I hate that bitch! And Dilandau...shit, I want to see Van cut his f#$%^ing head off! And...is Zechs a bad guy? What about V?

Staring...

Coat-tails of Doom, Head in a Jar, A Boy and his Drill, Dragonheart, Steven Blum, Cloud Stryfe, Anime Charlie Brown, Retired Mass Murderer, The Cast of all of those Gundam Universal Century OVA's that you didn't watch, Moe, Inazuma Kick, Sane Evangelion Girl, Little Not-An-Orphan Annie, Sniper Boobs, Heavily Armed Boobs, Hypocritical Boobs, Ordinary Magical Latex Schoolgirl, I Dorothy, Dueling Guitars, The god of death, Screw the rules I have green hair, Little Lion-Boy, Mokuba and his friend, Leather Pants, Mega Slacker, and Definitely Not-Dead Kamina.

MIGHTY MORPHIN MECHA RANGERS!

When is Kaiba going to tell everyone about that thing in his basement? Isn't that a good tidbit of need-to-know information? Or does he even know? Also, where did Kaiba get that blue goo that the Rangers use to combine? And when the hell did Yui have time to give Shinji a sister? With someone who isn't Gendo? And Gendo didn't murder the child or the man that touched his wife?

Whatever, it's not like it'll be as confusing as Prometheus.